


Evil Mall Santa (Part One of Marvel-lous Christmas)

by floating_roomba



Series: Marvel-lous Christmas [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Shopping, Fluff, Funny, Mall Santa Claus, Marvel - Freeform, Marvel Cinematic Universe - Freeform, Rescue, Star Wars - Freeform, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Tony is basically Peter's dad, Twelve Days of Fic-mas, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:08:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27840526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/floating_roomba/pseuds/floating_roomba
Summary: Peter, Tony, and Morgan just want to go Christmas shopping for Pepper.Things work out in the end I guess?
Relationships: Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Pepper Potts & Tony Stark
Series: Marvel-lous Christmas [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2037883
Comments: 1
Kudos: 26





	Evil Mall Santa (Part One of Marvel-lous Christmas)

"Look, it's Santa!" 

Peter looked down at Morgan, who was squeezing his hand and pulling him towards where "Santa" was sitting at the back of the toy store. Santa appeared to be taking pictures with the kids in line. 

"Can we take pictures with him? And then I can tell him what I want for Christmas, and I can tell Mommy I met Santa!" Morgan pleaded, looking back at Tony.

Tony had to walk fast to catch up with Peter and Morgan. "God, you kids are really fast." He peered out from under his sunglasses at Santa. "Oh, come on, I thought we agreed that all we were going to do at the mall today was get presents for Mommy!" 

"I'm sure Miss Potts won't mind if we take a slight detour, for her daughter," Peter reasoned, gesturing to Morgan, who was eagerly pointing towards Santa.

"Please?" Morgan asked. "Pretty please?"

Tony scoffed, scooping up his daughter in his arms. "Well, I can't say no to a pretty please, now can I?" He plopped down the bag of gifts he had accumulated at the register and fished a wad of cash out of his pocket. "Hold that there for me, will ya?" he asked the cashier. "I've got a Santa emergency."

The cashier looked at the contents of the bag, and then at the large wad of money on the counter. "I- sir, this is too much money for-"

"Keep the change!" Tony called back. 

They walked over to the end of the line. Morgan bounced in Tony's arms excitedly. 

"So, what are you doing for Christmas, Peter?" Tony asked.

Peter was zoned out, trying to concentrate and not let all the noise get to him, when Tony asked him that. "Um. Probably just hanging out with Ned and Aunt May. We open presents together on Christmas morning, so that's fun."

"Cool. Sounds nice." Tony commented. "Have you told M.J. how you feel about her yet?"

Peter reddened. "What?"

Tony smirked. "Come on, don't think I haven't overheard you talking to Natasha about how you don't know how to tell her. I think you'd be a great couple, from what I've heard about her. Sarcastic, pessimistic, badass with a fluffy ball of sunshine, who also happens to be badass? Kind of reminds me of Steve and Bucky to be honest-"

"Mr. Stark!" Peter exclaimed, his complexion matching the velvety red of Santa's robe. 

"Oooh, Peter's got a crush," Morgan teased. "You should tell her you love her on Christmas! Just like all those weird sappy Hallmark movies that Mommy and Daddy watch!"

"Maybe I will!" Peter says, swatting at Morgan playfully.

They were almost to the front of the line, when Peter felt the sudden urge to pee. "Ah, shit," he whispered under his breath. He looked up at Tony and Morgan. "Um, I have to go to the bathroom."

"You better be back in time so you can tell Santa what you want for Christmas!" Morgan orders, gesturing at Santa. 

Peter goes into the bathroom. Should he tell M.J. that he likes her? He really does, but what if she doesn't like him back? She doesn't show much emotion, and when she does, it's usually passionate riots about unjust rules in foreign countries. Ah, M.J.

He goes to the bathroom, and as he finishes zipping up his pants, his enhanced hearing picks something up from outside.

Peter hears Tony shout, and then a thud. Then he hears a gruff voice say, "Give me all money from the registers, or the girl gets a bullet to the head!"

What girl?

Morgan?

Oh no.

There is a large commotion, then the same voice says, "And I mean all of it!"

Shaking, Peter opens his backpack, revealing the Spider-Man suit. He had been hoping he wouldn't have to use the suit today, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

He pulls the suit on. "Hey, Karen?"

The AI responds in her usual pleasant voice. "Yes, Peter?"

"I-I think Mr. Stark and Morgan are in trouble." 

There is a pause, and then Karen says, "Would you like me to pull up the cameras from the store?"

"Y-yes please," Peter says, breathing shakily. 

A video pops up in the lenses of the suit. Evil Mall Santa is sitting in his chair, with Morgan on his lap, with a gun to her head. Tony is on the ground, unconscious. The elf that was standing beside him is pointing a gun at the store workers, and the other elf is pointing a gun at the customers. The store workers are slowly placing money into a bag. 

"Would you like me to activate instant kill mode?" Karen asks serenely.

"Wha- no!" Peter exclaims. Peter walks over to the door, and creaks it open carefully. He slips out and hides behind a LEGO display. As he peeks around the shelf, he sees Tony has an ugly gash on his head. "Hey, Karen?"

"Yes, Peter?" Karen replies obediently.

"Can you notify security about the situation?"

"Of course."

Peter grabs a LEGO Death Star off of the table, and places a web grenade in it carefully. He then climbs the side of the shelf, so that he's right next to the elf guarding the customers, and yeets it at his head. 

The elf grunts, gun flying out of his hand and then crumbles to the ground. The other elf runs over, shouting, "Stay where you are! Who threw that thi-"

The web grenade then blows up in the elf's face, sticking him to the ceiling and his buddy to the ground. Peter thwips out webs from each of his wrists, grabbing both guns. 

He walks towards the back of the store, towards the Evil Mall Santa. Evil Mall Santa's eyes widen, but then he regains his confident composure. "One step closer, Spider-Man," Evil Mall Santa sneers, "and you can say bye-bye to this little girl right here." He looks over at the workers, who are standing still, unsure what to do.

Peter knows what to do in an instant. Morgan is looking at him with frightened eyes, and Peter knows what to do. "I know," Peter said in his Queens accent. He gestures over at the wall to the left of the Evil Mall Santa. "That's why he's here."

As the Evil Mall Santa looks to the left, searching for the imaginary person that is here to foil his plans, Peter waves at Morgan to get her attention. He points at the Evil Mall Santa, points at his crotch, and gives the air a good strong kick. Morgan nods, hopefully understanding what Peter needs.

"Oh, you thought you could trick me, Spider-Man?" Evil Mall Santa says, turning back around to face Peter, grinning evilly. "Well, I'm not- OWWWWWW!"

Morgan gives the Evil Mall Santa a pink Sketcher to the crotch, cutting off his monologue. Evil Mall Santa throws the gun in the air, both hands holding his privates in pain. 

Peter webs Evil Mall Santa's hand together down there, then jumps over to Morgan and scoops her up. "Are you okay, civilian?" 

"Shut up," Morgan mutters. "I want a cheeseburger. Also, I don't think that's Santa."

Mall security busts through the door. "Put your hands on your head! You have the right to- Spider-Man?!"

Peter laughs. "A bit late there, aren't you? No casualties, and you have your criminals taken care of right there for you," Peter says, gesturing to the elves and the Evil Mall Santa who are webbed up. "You really should do a more thorough background check on your employees."

"Peter? Perhaps you should check on Mr. Stark," Karen's voice suggests as security sheepishly walks over to the elves and Evil Mall Santa, holding out handcuffs.

Peter feels a rush of guilt for having forgotten about Mr. Stark, and he runs over, still holding Morgan in his arms. "Mr. Stark?" He shakes him gently. "You okay?"

"Daddy?" Morgan says, hopping down from Peter's arms. "Daddy!"

Tony shoots upright, eyes wide. "Morgan? What happened? Underoos?"

Morgan smiled excitedly. "Okay, so, Santa was all evil, and he had a gun, and he smacked you in the head with it, and the elves had guns, but me and Pete- Spider-man saved the day because Spider-Man threw a LEGO Death Star at the elves and it exploded and I kicked Santa in the-"

"Okay, okay," Peter interrupted, partially because he wasn't sure what word Morgan was going to use and partially because Tony was holding his head in pain. "I think you might have a concussion, so let's get you back to the car, and then we can tell all the Avengers how you vanquished Santa's imposter." He offered Tony his arm for support, and Tony gladly accepted it, pulling himself up to his feet.

Tony grabbed their bag full of Christmas gifts as they walked out, the store workers staring at him.

And if you had been working at the McDonald's drive through at precisely 12:41 P.M. that day, you would've been giving food through the window to a car with Mr. Tony Stark with a poorly bandaged head, his daughter, and Spider-Man all riding in it together.

**Author's Note:**

> my first fic! come vibe with me on tumblr at @purpleneccsnappinraisin
> 
> please leave comments!


End file.
